Time's Keeper - War of the Roses
by Thewatcherobserves
Summary: Kirk and Uhura find ways to move forward in the repaired timeline; it's not always pretty. Kirk/Uhura, Spock/Uhura, McCoy, Grayson
1. Pink Alba 1

**Author's**** Note: **_The way of love is seldom smooth and flat. With Kirk and Uhura it tends to resemble the great battles in history. Read here the tale of their coming together - one battle and flower at a time._

_This story is part of the Time's Keeper Kirk/Uhura 'verse._

___All non-original characters belong to their respective owners. Story concept, settings and plot belong to the author in whole or in part. No portion of this material may be reproduced, transmitted, used or modified in any matter on any media without the author's and/or owners' express written permission. Portions copyrighted._

* * *

"Jim! Focus! The phrase is 'Aħna nixtiequ li tħallas għall titanju tiegħek' - okay?"

She'd been in his face for the last three hours drilling him on this phrase. The Federation's newest "friends", the Iż-Żgħażaħg [Young People of Iz], happened to live on a planet with the richest mineral deposits useful for space travel that had ever been measured. The raw tonnage exceeded that produced by Vulcan - before the planet's untimely destruction. The Federation actively sought new sources to replace those lost to Vulcan's obliteration.

The Iż-Żgħażagħ presented a challenge to traditional Federation First Contact protocols. Normally the Federation placed covert anthropological and science teams on a planet before actual First Contact. In this way the Federation diplomatic teams had ample knowledge of the inhabitants and could conduct future interchanges from a position of strength. The quantity and quality of resources on planet Iż necessitated a fast-track meeting with the pre-Industrial, tribal community.

The dossier on Iż-Żgħażaħg indicated tribal groups dispersed across the more verdant areas of the planet near potable water sources. The Tfal ta 'Iz - "Children of 'Iz" all adhered to a single planet-wide religion similar to that of Earth's 15th century Middle Eastern regions. Religion dictated daily life and provided a form of the "Rule of Law" after the long period of feudalism ended almost a century ago.

One outcome of this religious focus was the re-combining of dialects created during the feudal period back into the the single planetary language that preceded the split into warring tribes. On Iż-Żgħażaħg the accurate rendering of syntax and correct selection of vocabulary became a life-or-death skill. Priests adjudicated communications misunderstandings daily with the most frequent outcome leaving one of the arguing parties roasting in the ever-burning fires of the pyre built into the temple.

Because fate had a sense of humor, it was the Enterprise that discovered the planet's rich bounty during a routine mapping and geological survey mission. The ship whose captain disdained diplomacy and hated learning new languages.

Stretching on the couch in his quarters, Jim whined loud enough, he hoped, to irritate her into stopping for tonight. His plan was to raise the volume until Grayson, Uhura's son sleeping in Jim's bed, awoke and forced her back to her own quarters. So far his attempt failed because the toddler slept like his human mother not like his Vulcan father.

"Uhura, give me a break! We've been at this for FOUR days. I'm TIRED."

They'd been here before, Kirk and Uhura. Spock's Klingon language class set Kirk's ass on fire at the Academy and she'd applied the fire extinguisher to him. In four physically draining hours she slammed a semester of the language into his skull. She'd stayed hours after her shift ended to make sure he'd pass Spock's class. Embarrassment at her kindness and his imposition on her time ignited their first knock-down-drag-out fight which led to her nearly being raped on the quad when she refused his offer of escort services.

A fatigued, ironic smile communicated Kirk's awareness of the volatile nature of their unusual and confusing relationship so far. He'd always loved her - just not in the last four days.

"So's Grayson, Jim and he's TWO!. He's been sleeping in here for four days thanks to you. Now let's go back over the last -"

"NO, Uhura! I need to **sleep**!"

"Grow up and man up! You can't keep running away! Ugh!" she groaned, rubbing the heels of her hands over her eyes in exasperation before reacquiring the target of her stare.

Rising to avoid the objection in her eyes, Jim disappeared into his bedroom, returning with a sleeping Grayson in his Galaxy Quest footy pajamas. Speaking quietly to avoid waking the toddler, he continued past her to the door.

"Tomorrow. C'mon - I'll take Grayson to your quarters."

"Gee, thanks. That doesn't make up for you quitting early, Captain. You need to nail this to avoid another interstellar disaster. This is important - especially for **you**!" she finished, rounding the corner to her quarters behind him.

Kirk waited months before assigning her to an away mission. He'd argued Starfleet into reassigning Spock's First Officer quarters as her quarters, explaining that she was the only dual Chief of Communication _and_ Chief of Protocol in Starfleet. His motives were transparent to anyone who knew the three of them; he wanted her someplace familiar and somewhere close by while she built a new life as a widow.

It took intervention by Admiral Nik Matoskah, a well-liked Barnett colleague, to move Admiral Barnett towards granting Kirk's request. Matoskah had introduced Spock and Uhura when she was a 15-year-old language prodigy and Matoskah's special project at the Academy.

Matoskah had manipulated Spock's Academy career to let them get to know each other, recognizing well before Spock did that Nyota Uhura would understand and love him for himself. Matoskah petitioned Barnett in Uhura's behalf and achieved the success Kirk alone could not; Uhura and Grayson were now Kirk's next door neighbors.

Kirk hadn't wanted to assign her to this away mission as her first job back after Spock's death. The Iż-Żgħażaħg negotiations would be tricky. But Admiral Barnett hand-picked her because she knew the language and had written a paper on first contact with similar civilizations for a xeno-linguistics conference at Cambridge a year and a half ago. The Tfal ta 'Iz taboo against women in roles of authority or responsibility meant Kirk became the lead diplomat.

"Uhura, you've known me long enough to know how much I LOVE learning new languages under pressure. We've got a week -"

The room swallowed the rest of his sentence as Jim expertly transferred Grayson to his bed, leaning down to place a light kiss on the boy's forehead. Leaning on the door frame, Uhura smiled sadly as Grayson grinned in his sleep. Her late husband used to do the same every night. Kirk noted her wistful look as he exited Grayson's room.

"He could've stayed with me tonight, Uhura." he suggested softly, pulling up next to her.

"Thanks, Jim but I'd rather keep him close for a while."

"You want him in your room?" Jim asked as he made his way to the main door.

"No, we're good. Thank you."

"It's my pleasure," he replied, his line in their years-old ritual.

"It's more than that," she whispered, completing the ritual.

Walking him to the door, she sent him off with a goodnight message -

"Tomorrow you don't get to run away. This has to be right or I will cancel this mission as the Chief of Protocol. Understood, James Kirk?"

Kirk's chin dropped to his chest, defeat defining his posture. He outranked her as Chief of Communications; she outranked him as Chief of Protocol. Winning against this woman remained a constant battle.

"Yes ma'am. See you tomorrow," he shot back over his shoulder as he made the left leading to his own door.

Undressing for bed, Uhura worried her lower lip until she had to stop to brush her teeth. She hadn't handled any truly complicated operational communications for two years and no diplomatic work in almost three. Unused to being rusty or unsure she lay awake on the bed for some time talking to the man who used to share the other side with her.

_Spohkh, ashayam. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to do this without you..._

This realization no longer brought tears, merely sadness and resignation.


	2. Pink Alba 2

The Iż-Żgħażaħg society evidenced that puzzling but common mix of economic precociousness and fervent religious devotion. Sitting across the table from the Iż-Żgħażaħg theocrats, Kirk bristled at the dossier before him, prepared by the covert contact teams. Nowhere did it mention the cunning and savvy of the Iż-Żgħażaħg as negotiators and businesspeople.

Hours into what was expected to be an honorary ritual signing of a trade agreement, Uhura noted all the signs of irritation and impatience in Kirk. The Captain had solid negotiation skills but lacked the diplomacy and patience necessary to be a truly good trade envoy. Unsure of herself after more than two years away, Uhura kept to translation duties as Kirk floundered deeper and deeper into the negotiations.

The day started with introductions of the priests' eldest children to the Enterprise delegation. As part of their preparation for taking over their parents' roles, the youngsters would join the negotiations. That doubled the amount of translation required for Kirk - coming and going.

To his displeasure Kirk was forced to quickly learn names and relationships on a planet where improper words or deeds could end in the temple fire pit. Uhura fast tracked the key relationships to Kirk in real time in Fed Standard but noted Kirk's increasing panic as words and phrases with similar sounds but vastly different meanings began to crash into each other in his head.

Fatigue, the companion of stress, set in after five hours to be shortly joined by error: during a key request for a mineral blend, Kirk transposed the word "titanium" for "child" - delivering the Federation's offer as "We wish to buy your child" to the lead Iż-Żgħażaħg negotiator.

The head priest angrily declared Kirk an infidel and a child abuser, proclaiming a summary judgment of death.

Temple security descended on the room from all entrances to take Kirk into custody for immediate execution in the temple pyre. Iż-Żgħażaħg guards pounded a resistant Kirk as he tried to free himself and call for beam out. As second in command for the mission, Uhura found herself surrounded and screaming orders to keep the remainder of the Enterprise delegation from creating an enemy the Federation could ill afford to make.

Shouting to the Iż-Żgħażaħg, she explained to the priest that Kirk held the role of shaman on the Enterprise, capable of calling on powers he restrained out of respect for the Iż-Żgħażaħg. She genuflected frequently, pleading with the Iż-Żgħażaħg not to provoke him and cause his powerful deity to punish the Iż-Żgħażaħg believers.

Slapping her communicator, she called on the power of Su-Lu to protect His shaman and render unconscious those harming him as a sign of His displeasure.

On the Enterprise, Communications routed the message to Sulu at the con. Eyes shifting a moment, Sulu confirmed the activities on the ground with a sensor sweep.

"Chekov, set ship's phasers on stun - pattern 92 by 149 at coordinates 24x09. Fire!"

On the planet, temple guards and one-third of the attendant priests and progeny dropped to the floor.

Silence marked the Iż-Żgħażaħg head priest's consideration of who's deity held sway in this situation.

After a time she deemed sufficient to get her unspoken point across, Uhura asked the great Su-Lu to protect Kirk and restore him to the MakKoy for healing. Kirk dematerialized in full view of the Iż-Żgħażaħg who hit their knees and begged for forgiveness from Su-Lu. Uhura assured them that Su-Lu desired peaceful relations and a fair deal for the mineral wealth of the planet.

Working through a male sociologist assigned to her team, Uhura and the Iż-Żgħażaħg parties inked the deal as Kirk structured it before the second moon set.


	3. Pink Alba 3

Once again Kirk yanked victory from the jaws of defeat - with Uhura's considerable help and causing her a tremendous amount of stress.

Privately, though, she appreciated the adjustments he'd approved during her grieving process and stumbling steps towards life as a single parent. Being here, S'chn T'gai Nyota Uhura could draw comfort from familiar living patterns and move on in safe surroundings.

When sleep alluded her, Uhura rose and dressed. Walking into the nursery she tied on her carrying cloth before placing the sleeping boy within its hammock-like folds. With him settled, she left her quarters for the Mess Hall.

As she hoped, the Mess Hall was mostly empty, day shift workers having already eaten dinner and swing shift having finished "lunch". Dinner/Breakfast for swing and mid shift were hours away. Within minutes the laggards gathered their transportable foodstuffs and left her alone in the cavernous room.

Resettling Grayson in the cloth, she selected a small assortment of fresh fruit straight from the ship's arboretum and chamomile tea. For Grayson's continued contentment she sought out one of the couches near the observation port and sat, legs tucked comfortably beneath her, grazing on the fruit and sipping her tea.

Engaged in thought, she missed the noise of his entrance. She also missed his radar tracking eyes as they found her. He'd been looking for her since he left Sickbay. Thanks (again) to McCoy's expert doctoring he'd have less than the expected scarring and wasn't half as swollen as he should be given the beating he'd taken before Uhura figured out how to save his ass and the negotiations.

Courage deserted him on his way to her quarters so he had the computer track her down. Kirk thanked whatever had given her a case of insomnia tonight for chasing her out of her place and into the Mess Hall. He wasn't sure he could've done the right thing if she were in her quarters.

With a bottle of bourbon in his bandaged hand and a long, narrow paper-wrapped item in the other, Jim Kirk paused only long enough to grab an empty glass then walked briskly over to her table.

He spoke contritely as he pulled a chair next to her place on the couch.

"Uhura - thanks. You saved my ass... Again."

"Yes I did."

She sighed before continuing.

"Jim, we have to improve your diplomacy skills. One day a civilization with long-distance pulse weapons is going to shoot us out of the sky because of your substandard language skills. You'll threaten to empty their food stores instead of asking *nicely* to purchase food. You're too smart for this. You're the smartest person I know. Why does this happen?"

He noted his promotion in her mind; where IQ was concerned, he'd always been second to Spock. When Spock was alive.

"I dunno. I tend to avoid things I don't like. You know that. Spock would've taken care of this - he'd already know the language or you two would have piped the phrases through my command ear bud."

Uhura winced for not thinking of that.

"I miss him, Uhura," Jim admitted, looking first at the bourbon-filled glass then at the stars outside the observation port.

"I was a better captain with him as first officer. He kept me from making stupid mistakes - like the one today. He could out-think me before I stepped off the cliff. You know, he chewed me out for going over to Marcus' ship with Khan and I hadn't even told him what I was going to do."

Only Kirk's swallowing disturbed the silence for a while. The sound of gentle crying joined them as did Grayson's quiet fussing at Uhura's changed mental state.

"I miss him too, Jim" she whispered to the empty room.

"I'm sorry, Uhura. It's just... All I could think about in Sickbay was how none of this would've happened with him here. I need help. Somebody with brains and discipline. Somebody who's sane. I'm gonna lose the Enterprise if I don't get some help. They'll take her from me again or I'll get us all killed."

The irony struck Uhura; here sat the two people closest to Spock after his mother's death and neither had a going-forward plan after his murder. Spock's death cut a hole in their universe that threatened to render them both psychologically inert, unable to move on with competence or confidence.

"Spock would find our joint incompetence illogical given our combined IQ's," she joked.

To her surprise, Jim smiled. Not a true Jim Kirk smile, but an acknowledgement of their mutual absurdity and loss.

"Spock was incredible. He still managed to function after two insane circumstances -"

"What? Vulcan's destruction and you dying?"

"No - me as his captain and you as his wife."

Both chuckled at this, understanding how their joint love had shored up the young Vulcan after the loss of his planet and his mother.

Quiet reminded them that standing still equaled failure.

"I need your help, Uhura. I shouldn't even ask - he's only been gone a few months and you've got Grayson but -"

"It's okay, Jim. In this case I think we'd be helping each other. I should have reprogrammed your ear bud; I didn't even think of it. Maybe together we make a whole person..."

"Maybe we do..."

Grayson slurped loudly as he stretched in the carrying cloth, drawing a genuine laugh from them both.

"Sounds like last call to me. C'mon, lady. I'll escort you and your date home."

Back in her quarters, Kirk waited until she'd placed the baby in his bed and came back into the main living area before handing her the paper-wrapped object.

"Be careful" he warned.

With one cocked eyebrow she unwrapped a single pink rose, still sporting a few high-quality thorns.

"What's this?..."

"It's an Alba rose. On Earth they communicate gratitude. I owe you, Uhura. You saved the mission and the Federation on this one. I screwed up."

Dry-eyed she looked at him. She always liked this Jim, the no-bullshit honest version. With the cocky, over-confident serial seducer left outside her door, she read his genuine remorse for his mistakes.

"It's okay, Jim. To err is human."

Jim crossed the threshold into the corridor before sending a last quip her way.

"But it takes a Kirk to *really* screw up! G'night, Uhura!"

Smiling, she undressed, climbed into bed in her underwear and drifted off with a slight smile on her lips and a rose on top of the bed covers.


	4. Black Chinese Tea 1

"Uhura this is a really bad idea..."

Quietly exhaled air sounded like a sirocco in her ears.

"We've been over this. My mind is made up."

"Why are you putting him through this? He's a baby!"

"He's a Vulcan toddler! This is his heritage."

"He's also human! Spock would've objected - he didn't want all this... this..."

"Attention!? Is that the word you're looking for, Jim? Or is it hypocrisy!? They both apply, in this case! These people made Spock **_miserable_**... They taunted him and demeaned him and disrespected his parents! Spock remembered _ALL_ of it! Yet he came here and solved their 'pure Vulcan offspring' problem for them!"

"Why are you going!? I'll tell them - you don't have to deal with this now..."

His compelling need to protect her from round 2 of Vulcan bigotry almost overcame his decision to keep a respectful distance between them.

"Because it's not about me, Jim. Tomorrow, for the last and only time, Vulcans will acknowledge the truth about Spock. Tomorrow every living Vulcan will **know** that Spock was the smartest, bravest Vulcan in living memory, that he was the **only** Vulcan who could save their bigoted assess - even with his 'handicap' of a human mother..."

Human mother.

"Uhura, Grayson won't live on New Vulcan. He'll never have to prove he's as good as anybody else. He'll never have to defend you that way."

"Jim - I don't want him to have to defend his dead father! You know what it's like having a famous - and dead - father who you know nothing about. That's why he needs to do this. Wherever he goes after tomorrow he won't be the three-quarters-human Vulcan hybrid, he'll be S'chn T'gai Grayson son of S'chn T'gai Spock heir apparent to the clan. Grayson will remember every single moment. After that it won't matter what they say to him."

"You're sure you want to do this to him? It could backfire. He's still a kid."

Facing her hurt; his heart broke for the sadness in those expressive eyes.

"I can't remember the last time I was sure of anything. Life lately has more about what I need than what I want. We're going, but you don't have to."

"I'll see you at 0815L. G'night Uhura."


	5. Black Chinese Tea 2

"We're in orbit around New Vulcan, Captain!" Sulu called confidently from the helm.

"Thank you, Mr. Sulu. You have the con." Kirk announced as he rose from his captain's chair on the Enterprise bridge and entered the closest turbolift - but not before Sulu touched his arm gently and looked at him, just looked at him. Sulu knew enough of Kirk's history to understand that today would affect Jim as much as Uhura. Meeting those cool, steady eyes Kirk smiled his appreciation at the gesture and entered the lift.

Sulu watched darkness transition behind the lift doors before tapping the communications operator on duty for an ear bud.

"Chekov! You have the con." he announced before entering the captain's ready room.

"Aye, sir!" Chekov confirmed.

"Sulu to Uhura!"

"Uhura here."

Sulu noted the muted tone of her voice; the music was gone.

"Listen, Uhura - if you need me, I'm there. Pavel can handle the ship for a few hours."

He knew she smiled even though he couldn't see her.

"Thank you, Hikaru. We'll see you when we get back."

"We're here, Uhura. Sulu out."

Approaching the con, Sulu seated himself with the concern that neither Kirk nor Uhura would get through the next few hours without significant pain.

Attention on the console display, Sulu completed the acknowledgements for the departure of the shuttle carrying Spock's family and Captain Kirk to New Vulcan. He then dispatched Chekov to see to Kirk's order received from the shuttle.


	6. Black Chinese Tea 3

"Captain, Nyota - It is good to see you again."

"Ambassador" Kirk replied stiffly.

Kirk had never been more relieved that he'd been too young to remember this part of losing his own father. Jim already regretted the necessity of putting Grayson through this, given the boy's eidetic memory.

"Hello, Sarek. You have been well?" Uhura asked politely, pain hidden under her professional diplomat persona.

"Much work remains but progress can be measured. Spock's work yields results each day. I am thankful for this."

Grayson stood still, unsure how to approach his grandfather. The tiny empath sensed the seriousness and sadness around him, especially his mother's. For the first time he sensed strong emotions in his grandfather as well as his best friend on the Enterprise, known mostly as "Other" but named James T. Kirk. Worrying his lower lip like his mother, the little boy absorbed the grief around him like poison, too young to express it or to shield it.

"Grayson has grown since your return to the Enterprise. I sense his... anxiety over the events around us."

"He senses my discomfort and probably the Captain's. This isn't what Spock wanted..."

Sarek noted the tears rigidly held unshed in her eyes and Kirk's scarcely contained anger at the insistence that Grayson do this.

"It was not my intent to go against Spock's final instructions. It will mean that my final act as his father will defy his wishes. I have been overruled by the Vulcan Council. To their logic, this event will visibly manifest the importance of following through with the guidance of the elders. In this manner the terrorist's acts can be used to the remnant's advantage."

Not a single line on Sarek's face changed but Kirk knew the world just moved. Sympathy for Sarek joined anger in today's palette of emotions.

Sarek kneeled in front of the boy so like Spock at that age. Sarek had always known why Spock sought Nyota out at the Academy; it was those eyes. Deep, dark, intelligent and so like Amanda's.

Spock would not have missed that, that this woman of intelligence and passion and languages would embrace his differences as Amanda had so many years ago with Sarek; here was a woman who could withstand the challenges such a pairing would inevitably cause.

Sarek always appreciated Nyota's Vulcan heart, even when he was breaking it.

"Grayson, I will accompany you to the dais -"

Kirk cut Sarek off.

"Ambassador, I will accompany him. This will be hard enough on you and the Lieutenant. It's the least I can do."

Kirk found her eyes and let a thought sit where her shaky telepathy could find it.

_Let me do this for you, Spock and Sarek. Grayson's a touch-telepath, you don't want him suffering. I can get him through this. Please?_

A flicker of her lashes sent her consent and her tears.

"Let me speak with Grayson alone. Please?" Kirk asked.

Sarek took Nyota's arm and escorted her from the government chambers to the pavilion.

Kneeling in front of Grayson, Kirk prepared the boy as best he could for the stresses to come.

"Hey, buddy. I need for you to be a big boy today. You're going to help Baba get his award today."

"Award?"

"It like a present... Because Baba did such a good job."

"Baba's gone. I can't hear him anymore." the small face said solemnly.

"I know, son. That's why you're going to be a big boy and they're going to give it to you."

"But it's Baba's present."

"I know, buddy, I know... But it's important for you to keep Baba's present so you know how good a job he did for so many people. Do you understand?"

The boy with his mother's eyes nodded.

"When they tell us to, I'm going walk with you. You don't have to be sad, I'll be right there. If you need me, just hold my hand and I'll help you, okay?"

"Yes."

"Ready, big guy?"

Kirk stood and extended his hand towards Grayson. The boy took the offered hand and Kirk led them to their seats.


	7. Black Chinese Tea 4

Unlike humans, Vulcans felt no need to prolong their memorials with political and emotional displays. Thus after a few brief words by the interim government heads, the master of ceremonies announced that S'chn T'gai Spock's posthumous award would be accepted by his son.

Kirk and Grayson stood and walked slowly towards the podium until...

Grayson released Kirk's hand and continued to the podium alone. Accepting the plaque with both hands he turned to face the audience before speaking.

"This is for my Baba." he stated in flawless Golic.

Standing a moment more, Grayson carefully laid the award on the stage floor. Using one hand he spread the central fingers on the other hand into the V-shaped _ta'al. _Facing the master of ceremonies the boy's voice spoke again.

"Sochya eh dif [Peace and Long Life]"came the salutation, stunning the assembly.

_Sweet Jesus, can I take this? Look at him - he's Spock all over again, _Kirk thought, trying desperately to hold it together for the boy and his mother.

Bending over carefully to keep his balance, Grayson retrieved the award from the floor, twisting his feet to turn around. He made it almost back to Kirk before it all became too much. Running the last two steps the boy launched himself into the arms of a kneeling Kirk.

"I miss Baba..."

A message shared through a child's silent tears. Grayson wanted his father back. For decades, Jim Kirk wanted his own father back too.

Sarek, father of Spock, held Nyota's hand, using touch to shore up her shields and to relieve her grief a little through their familial bond. Kirk sought her eyes to send her comfort, such as he had to give her.

Holding all their pain in his embrace, Kirk kissed the son not of his body and agreed.

"I miss Baba too, buddy".


	8. Black Chinese Tea 5

Nyota intentionally avoided black clothing choices for the ceremony. The jacket she removed could be called navy blue, the blouse underneath a dark cream, like the head on homemade root beer. The long skirt shifted color in the frequencies emitted by her bedroom lights between dark khaki and dark olive as she hung it up in the bedroom. None of these colors were black and that choice was purposeful.

The Chinese Tea rose on her bed was black. Like her mind when her bond with Spock exploded into nothingness. Like the weeks in coma while the Vulcan healers - and M'Benga - fought to return his surviving parent back to the toddler who unceasingly keened his fear at the silence of his family in his mind, screaming his mental pain from his grandfather's cradling arms. Like her desire to follow her adun [husband] into the darkness until the other man with whom she shared a bond came and offered up his mind to save hers.

Removing her bra and sliding on a nightgown, she padded into the nursery to find an identical rose woven into the guard rail on Grayson's bed with a note pinned to it. Grayson sat dry-eyed and still, recovering slowly from the raw emotions of the people he cared most about. Uhura felt the fear that ebbed and surged in his little mind, bringing back tears she did not want him to see from her.

"Let's get you ready for bed, sweetheart."

"Mama, what's that?"

A small finger pointed in the direction of the rose. Amanda Grayson had been an avid rose gardner. Uhura sat with Grayson for hours during her recuperation on New Vulcan going through the family albums that had not been lost to Vulcan's consumption in folded space-time.

"That's a rose, sweetie - like the ones Nana Amanda grew. Remember? We looked at pictures of her and Baba."

"No - that."

The little finger touched the white paper then large eyes gazed up at her, curiosity and fear intermingled. By two years old Grayson had learned that surprises weren't always good, his lost innocence another reason for sadness in her life.

"I don't know. Let's read it together."

Carefully untangling the thornless rose from the railing, she grabbed the boy and anchored him on her hip before reentering her bedroom, taking a seat on her bed with Grayson in her lap.

The pin slid out easily and was quickly and safely secured in the drawer of her bed stand lest little fingers prick themselves in curiosity. Unfolding the stationary told her immediately the source of the roses. She recognized the writing.

"Mama, what does it say?" Grayson yawned to Uhura with closed eyes. She read it to him in a quiet voice.

_"Hey buddy,_

_I wanted to tell you what a great job you did today. Your Baba would be so proud of you - you're such a big boy now._

_I know it's been hard on you and your mom with Baba gone. I miss my father too. He died saving my mom and me. Everyone tells me he was a hero. I want to tell you your Baba is a hero._

_"Right now Vulcans are having a tough time. They had to leave their home and move to a new place. A lot of Vulcan kids miss their babas and mamas too. Your Baba figured out a way to help them - to help your people. Did you know you are part Vulcan? That's why you have points on your ears. Your Baba gave you those so you'll always know you're Vulcan. Without Baba's work Vulcan babies would get very sick._

_Grayson, when you miss your Baba I want you to think about all the people he helped. Your Baba was the only one who could figure out how to help, that's how smart he was. And even though it meant spending time away from you and Mama - "_

Uhura stopped to regain control of her voice and her emotions. Grayson snuggled closer as his own breathing grew unsteady. She inhaled a singer's breath and read on.

_"- and even though it meant spending time away from you and Mama, Baba made it possible for the Vulcan people to survive. _

_Your Baba used to tell me about one of Surak's teachings - that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one. Your Baba lived this; he helped so many Vulcans even though it meant time away from you and your mom who he loved with his whole mind and heart._

_Whenever you feel sad or mad or want to know why Baba isn't with you now, you come and find me. I'll tell you everything I know about your Baba and help you feel better. Your Baba was a great man and my best friend. I'll help you whenever you need me - I promise._

_Love, 'Other'"_

Grayson replayed the note from his perfect memory for many minutes. He didn't understand it all but his accelerated mind understood more than most toddlers would. Uhura began to sing softly, rocking him to quiet his thoughts and relax him.

"You want to sleep with me tonight?"

The first grin of the day met her offer. Toothbrushing and face washing happened faster than usual and with less mess. Stripping him to his Dr. Seuss underwear, they climbed in together, hugging each other in the subdued lighting. When Grayson slept soundly, Uhura put a call into Kirk. Not surprisingly, he wasn't asleep.

"Your note was lovely. It helped a great deal... Both of us."

"Good. I'll write one every night if you need me to. I'm here for you too, Uhura - if you need a friend."

"I appreciate that..."

It was quiet for a bit before he spoke again.

"'I'm off tomorrow. How about I keep Grayson?"

"That's fine. Bring him back around dinner time?"

"Will do. Just drop him off before your shift. Sure you don't want to take tomorrow off?"

She needed no more time sitting alone in their former quarters reliving these last awful months.

"No, I'm a working girl again. Good night, Jim, and thank you."

She terminated the call and sleep finally descended.


	9. Black Chinese Tea 6

"Stay for dinner?"

As Uhura stepped away from the door Grayson rushed in, cheeks flushed from running down the corridor with Jim chasing.

"That's okay - don't want to put you out. I'll see you on the bridge."

"It's hot dogs and beans."

The I-just-landed-in-cotton-candy grin occupied Jim's face for a minute to be replaced with a skeptical Is-this-some-kind-of-trick frown.

"What kind of hot dogs?"

Uhura had a nasty habit of substituting veggie hot dogs for the real kind that had meat and preservatives and chemical additives in them - the tasty kind. Given a choice, Jim Kirk would avoid vegetables for the rest of his life.

"Yours came straight from Earth. Apparently Leonard is partial to the real thing, something about baseball and coneys. Will you stay? I made too much for just the two of us."

Kirk gave her a glance at the phrase _just the two of us_. Spock ate mounds and mounds of Uhura's cooking. She always cooked like they had 15 kids. Changes were still coming.

"Hey, buddy! Is it okay if we eat dinner together?"

The giggling boy grabbed Kirk's hand and dragged him to the sink. Lifting Grayson's butt onto the counter, they washed their hands - and most of that side of the kitchen - and dried them. With help jumping down, Grayson led Kirk to the table where a huge crock of hot dogs and beans sat waiting.

And a huge platter of salad.

"I'm not eating that, Uhura."

"I didn't say you had to. But it would be nice to set a good example of healthy eating habits for Grayson."

"That's not fair, Uhura. You know how much I dis-"

Kirk shot a look at his young protege. Grayson, presently a near vegetarian, hung on every word.

"- like salad without dressing. Did you make any dressing?"

"It slipped my mind. Let me replicate some." she suggested, her eyes sparkling with successful conquest.

His eyes on the toddler who wolfed down all that plant material, Kirk considered a new game plan for dinner with Uhura.


	10. Yellow Tea 1

"McCoy to Uhura"

"Uhura here"

"Can you come down to Sickbay?"

Her heart stopped and pounded a bruise in her chest at the same time.

"Is something wrong, doctor?"

"Come down and we'll discuss it. McCoy out," and the doctor terminated the comm without imparting any information.

Sulu, at the con, spun the captain's chair to face Uhura.

"Go, Uhura. Haverty! Cover Communications!"


	11. Yellow Tea 2

Mouthing _Thank you, Hikaru_ as she disengaged from the equipment, Uhura ran to the turbolift and literally punched Sickbay level into the controls. To gain seconds she manually stopped the 'lift, banging her elbow hard enough to bruise as she ran through doors not fully opened.

Banging the same elbow again on the doors to Sickbay, she frantically searched for McCoy or Grayson or Jim, unsure what had happened, who was sick or injured. Her eyes located Jim and McCoy standing next to a med-bed. That left Grayson as the sick or injured party.

"What's going on!?" she shrieked

"Uhura, relax. Grayson took a spill, that's all. He's fine!"

Moving Jim aside, despite his attempt to calm her, she reached the med-bed. Grayson sat cross-legged with a surgical drape encircling his body. The drape sagged with the weight of dried and drying green blood from the boy's injuries which included an assortment of scrapes, cuts, true lacerations and gouges. Opposite her position, McCoy carefully sutured gut stitches into the partially shaved head of her three-year old.

"Whoa! Don't touch him while Bones is using that needle." Jim exclaimed, wrapping Uhura in his arms to stop her forward progress towards Grayson. The buzz each felt became painful on their skin, a reminder to Uhura that she wanted distance between them ASAP. The buzz showed up whenever they got close physically, starting in a bar in Iowa.

"Let me **go**! You were supposed to be watching him!"

"I was watching him! He fell off his bike, that's all!"

"He doesn't have a bike!" she snarled at him, twisting to get free of his arms.

"Dammit, you two! Act like you have some sense or I'll put you BOTH out of here!" McCoy yelled at the two shocked adults.

"The only one here acting grown up is Grayson! Aren't you, son?"

"I'm sorry Len. You can let me go, _Captain_!" This last came with some heat directly into Kirk's ear. Releasing her, he rubbed his ear canal with a knuckle trying to stop the ringing.

Uhura moved closer to Grayson, gently laying a hand on his back and one on his bent knee.

"How are you sweetheart?"

"I'm alright. Mama, guess what!?"

"What, sweetheart?" Uhura asked, raising the closer of his two hands and kissing the back of it tenderly.

"I can ride a bike!"

"You did great, buddy. Couple of bumps and bruises is all." Jim encouraged him, full of pride at the day's accomplishments.

The heat of her anger pushed Jim a few steps away.

"So, Bones - he's okay, right?" Jim asked a bit more sheepishly.

McCoy shot a "Are You Really That Stupid?" look at Kirk before delivering his medical opinion.

"There are no internal injuries and no concussion. No broken bones. He's got about 29 scrapes, 16 cuts needed antiseptic and another 7 I had to bandage, 2 lacerations on his hand where he tried to catch himself that I put surgical adhesive on and a couple of bumps that will go down in a few days with ice packs. The big ouchie -"

Kirk's eyebrows shot up at McCoy's use of the word "ouchie". Grayson was the only child on the ship, although McCoy reported 19 pregnancies in his last medical update. McCoy was getting soft with all these babies coming, Kirk decided.

"- is this cut I stitched up. Looks like his helmet slid forward and left this small part of his head near his neck exposed. That's where the bike landed on him. Gut stitches will mend better than derma-sealer - he'll grow all his hair back. How are you doing, cowboy? Are you hurtin' anywhere?"

"My head hurts on the inside."

"I bet it does," McCoy soothed while he loaded a hypospray. More gently than he'd ever done for Jim, McCoy laid the boy down and turned on the safety rail around the bed.

"Alright, pardner. This will help that headache. It might make you sleepy, but don't worry about that. You go on to sleep and we'll be here when you wake up."

"All of you?" Grayson asked, sleep already beginning to overtake him.

McCoy looked at Jim who looked at Uhura.

"We'll all be here, sweetheart." she spoke gently into his ear where she laid a kiss on the soft pointy tip.

They heard "Okay" through a yawn as McCoy administered the spray and Grayson dozed. McCoy observed the two combatants on the other side of the bed while he waited for the hypospray to take effect.

The explosion arrived on schedule.


	12. Yellow Tea 3

"Len, may I borrow your office?"

Ice drifted over to him on the breath of her request.

"Better that than you knock him out while I'm watchin'. Go ahead."

"Thank you. Jim - in the office NOW!"

The click of her boots on the floor reminded Kirk of the cannons in the 1812 Overture. Resignation descending fast, Kirk sighed and followed her - but not before McCoy gripped his arm and whispered to him.

"I've been married before. Four times. Listen carefully: whatever she dishes out, just take it. She's scared to death right now; that boy is all she thinks she has left. Don't be an idiot in there - let her blow and just take it. You hear me, Jim?"

"Yeah, yeah I hear you, Bones. Why is everybody acting like I did something wrong?"

McCoy took hold of him again.

"I'm on your side on this one but she's got to come to that conclusion on her own. Just take it." and with that final encouraging message for Jim to admit defeat in advance, McCoy let him go.

McCoy covered Grayson in a blanket and situated a chair where he could watch the boy and the adults.

McCoy heard her through the doors. Uhura accused Jim of being cursed by God Almighty, of being mentally defective, of being born out of wedlock, of being 10 years old (McCoy agreed with her), of being irresponsible (McCoy disagreed with her), of hiding his intent from her (McCoy thought that might be true) and of not caring a whit what happened to Grayson.

McCoy gave Jim a lot of credit; he silently took every insult, every accusation, every challenge. Until she accused him of not loving Grayson. McCoy saw Jim's body language change with her charge.

_Uh-uh_, McCoy flinched mentally _He's not gonna take that sittin' down, darlin'..._

As McCoy expected, Kirk took a deep breath and let her have it.

Jim accused her of hiding instead of living and taking Grayson into the darkness with her. He accused her of forgetting how to have fun and keeping Grayson from having any. He accused her of an unbalanced life of all work and no play, he accused her of running away from the people who cared about her...

He accused her of holding on too tight - especially to Grayson.

That's when her right cross hit his jaw and she screamed at him to stay away from her and her son.

McCoy was proud of Kirk; being captain had "growed him up" as they said back in the hills of McCoy's home state of Georgia. He rubbed his face where she hit him and quietly left the office without another word.

McCoy stood up, knowing she'd come and sit with Grayson until he woke up. He held the chair as she curled up in it and thanked him. With a final look at her, he left them alone and worked on paperwork in his office.


	13. Yellow Tea 4

Mama?" _Mama?_

Uhura returned from her twilight sleep at Grayson's bedside with his double call.

"I'm here, baby. How are you feeling?"

Her hand held his, stroking it softly.

"Mama, don't cry. I can ride a bike!"

"I'm just happy you're okay. These are happy tears."

Noise interrupted her lie along with Bones coming to check his patient.

The yeoman rolled a cart to the side opposite Uhura. With a smile and a very bad French accent he made a comical show of uncovering each dish. Grayson smiled wider and wider as his favorites appeared on each of the first 5 plates. The yeoman's smile and accent ratcheted back as he uncovered the next three plates of Uhura's favorites.

"Hungry?" she prodded Grayson.

"Uh-huh! May I please eat in bed?"

McCoy, who stopped next to the cart answered.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. That's what these beds are for, cowboy - sleepin' well and eatin' good."

With a deft touch, McCoy raised the bed table. Sliding his finger over the panel, he tilted the top of the bed until Grayson could sit up with support. The yeoman bowed to McCoy with a flourish then set Grayson's meal in front of him.

Silently gliding to Uhura's side of the bed, the yeoman arrayed her dishes on a bed table rolled to her side by McCoy. After seeing to their comfort, the yeoman left them, toddling out of Sickbay like Charlie Chaplain.

"Thank you, Leonard. This was... special."

"I had nothin' to do with this. I've been working and I don't have a clue what you and that boy like to eat. I think we both know who arranged this."

Uhura looked at Leonard McCoy.

"Come see me when he goes back to sleep. Damn, that looks good."

"Language, Leonard - please."

"Sorry. Becca Jo's used to her daddy's colorful words."

With a grunt McCoy re-entered his office to wait for Uhura.


	14. Yellow Tea 5

Much later Uhura sank into the chair in McCoy's office with a sigh meant to communicate her fear, her fatigue, her lingering sadness, her anger and her dawning awareness that she may have gone too far in blistering Kirk's hide.

"You want to talk about it?"

"I know Jim means well, but there's a reason they don't let children watch children. This -"

She waved her arms around to encompass all of the scary things Sickbay deals with.

"- happens."

"Did you ask him what happened?"

That caught her off guard. Her memory indicated she didn't actually ask him anything.

"Did you listen to his side?"

"Leonard, he almost killed my son! He doesn't get a side!"

"Slide around here, hon. Let me show you something."

Scraping sounds accompanied the chair's repositioning next to McCoy.

"This is what they were doing." he told her softly. McCoy started the vid and leaned back, giving her room to lean in.

Kirk and Grayson appeared on screen with a two-wheel bike in a pint-sized motocross course.

Grayson introduced the vid.

"Hi, Mama! Your birthday is next week and I wanted to give you something special. Daddy said he'd help me"

Uhura stopped the vid. When he'd delivered them to New Vulcan - given her back to Spock after Spock annulled his Vulcan marriage - Jim held 10-week-old Grayson and told him _I love you, buddy;_ _I'll always be your daddy._ Uhura thought Grayson had forgotten, that the idea of Daddy had been replaced with a living, breathing Vulcan Baba.

And it had - until Baba died.

Tied up in her own grief, she wondered how she missed the transition back to "Daddy" from "Other" in Grayson's mind.

She'd forgotten her upcoming birthday.

McCoy tapped "PLAY" and sat back again.

"Watch me, Mama. I can ride a bike."

For the next two minutes Jim Kirk chased Grayson as he sped through and around the obstacles. Grayson's cat-like balance, an inherited gift from his Vulcan father, kept him upright and moving along the course. Huffing and blowing, Kirk stayed with him, shouting encouragement and delighting in this "Bad Boy" right of passage. Motorcycles would be next if Kirk had his way, she just knew.

Grayson skidded to a controlled stop then both faced the vidcam and yelled -

"Happy Birthday!"


	15. Yellow Tea 6

McCoy tapped the STOP button, then spoke softly.

"They'd rearranged the course so Grayson could try one more trick - Jim told me they were going to edit it in. Grayson lost control and just tumbled. Jim snatched the bike or it would have really landed on him and wrecked his innards. He came in here with the boy in his arms - blood everywhere - runnin' and screamin'. Wouldn't let anybody but Christine or me work on him."

McCoy removed a flask - one of about ten, Uhura noted - from a desk drawer and offered it to her first. She drew a long, slow draught before handing the container back with a soundless _Thank You_. McCoy poured four fingers-worth into his own mouth, grunting in pleasure.

"Have no doubt, darlin'. He loves that boy more than life itself - and Jim Kirk loves life a helluva lot.

"How much you been lovin' life, hon? Is it getting any better for you?"

Shuddering made her answer almost indecipherable "No, Len. It's not."

"So what are you doin' to make it better? Never see you at poker anymore, which is a damn shame because it means I can't get my money back."

That got a soft smile.

"I need to spend time with Grayson, Len. And the Poker Posse aren't the best role models -"

"Hell we aren't! There's not a ship out here with a better senior officer crew or better homemade hooch. You know you and Grayson are always welcome."

"I know..."

"We love you both. You don't give us much opportunity to show it. You and I have been through a lot together - even before you and Spock got together 'officially'. You used to come visit me, drag my crabby carcass to lunch or bring me somethin' good to eat. With my personality I don't have too many friends; I miss the one I used to have."

"Len, I didn't mean to push you away."

"Yeah, I know. So does Jim; you're doin' it to him too."

"My relationship with Jim is... complicated"

A grunt of cynical laughter escaped McCoy's chest, joined with a skeptical raised eyebrow.

"You don't think it's not for him? First time he smiled in two years was when you and Grayson came back with Spock to rejoin the crew. But you know that. He told me you scanned him."

"You make it sound like a sci-fi mind control technique!"

"You know what I mean. He's tryin' like hell to make you two happy. That's why he agreed to help Grayson learn to ride a bike in the first place. Jim and Scotty made that bike just for Grayson."

Thoughtful silence occurred.

"Tell me, hon. Is Jim right about holdin' on too tight?"

"Grayson's all I have -"

McCoy cut her off abruptly.

"No - he's all you're lettin' in. And you're not lettin' him out much either. Look at me Uhura -" and he waited for her eyes to really focus.

"Do you want to turn into Winona Kirk? Do you want Grayson to be Jim Kirk all over again?"

McCoy slid his hand over hers and squeezed it.

"Why do you think Jim's fightin' you so hard? He knows what you're doin' to Grayson 'cause he lived it. Lost his mother to her grief and never got her back."

McCoy witnessed the epiphany. With Uhura it was always the eyes that told you she got it, that she's applied that prodigious intellect to understanding the root of a subject. Right now they were huge and revealing. It's not that she didn't suspect this on her own, it's that McCoy saw it too. Obviously Jim did because he was trying to prevent it.

McCoy was satisfied she would take the necessary first steps.

"You need to talk to Jim. He has the most experience with this from Grayson's perspective. Go get some sleep. Since I know you don't trust the boy with me just grab the closest double med-bed - I'll move him to you."


	16. Yellow Tea 7

Kirk wasn't expecting visitors on his day off. He was expecting to sleep until Armageddon or the next Enterprise away team misadventure - which might actually be the same thing. Once more lamenting God's sense of humor and how it played daily havoc in his life (punishment for a misspent youth, in Jim's thinking) he yelled "C'm'in" at the door and she entered.

He'd seen the caftan before but not since Spock's death. Where once she pleasantly filled out the sensual garment now he could see how much weight she'd lost. _She's had her uniforms altered or she getting smaller sizes_ he thought and she smiled - she was reading him again. That hadn't happened in a long while. Not sure whether he was glad or pissed he planted his Jim Kirk - Defiant smile on his face and dared her to react.

"I owe you an apology -"

"No kidding." He wasn't going to make it easy because she didn't like easy. Jim wasn't Spock and he made sure she understood that.

"I can leave, Jim, so you and your temper can have the place to yourselves"

Her eyes transitioned to slits in preparation for battle.

"Go ahead. You've been running away from me since you came back. I'm used to it. But Grayson won't like it."

"That's why I'm here. I think I understand what you've been -"

"You **_think?_** You used to be smarter than that, Uhura. I'm trying to give him back his childhood.

"Why are **_you_** here? You told me to stay out of your lives. That means you stay out of mine. Grayson's still welcome; he's going to need me when you're done screwing his life up. Not that you care about what you're doing to him."

Kirk had just accused her of not caring for her son - the same accusation he flipped over during their argument.

"Really, Jim!? And where did **YOU** learn so much about being a **good parent**, huh? From your **mother?!**"

She'd meant to back him off his hurtful observations but Kirk smiled - a feral kind of smile.

"Everything I need to know about what NOT to do came from her. I lost BOTH my parents to Nero. My mother's body is just taking longer to stop moving."

Mortification and relief colored Uhura's blush. Jim Kirk always told her the truth about herself, that was their relationship. He was in no-bullshit mode.

With a sheepish half smile she jabbed back.

"Are you willing to help me make sure I don't raise another YOU?"

"What the hell do you think I've been doing? And where is Grayson because I know you didn't leave him in your quarters alone?"

"He's recuperating for a night at Pavel's. They haven't spent much time togeth-"

"Thanks to YOU, Uhura"

She truly laughed with him for the first time since well before the memorial on New Vulcan months ago.

"You MADE your POINT, Jim. Nobody's perfect."

"What?! The end of the universe is at hand. Nyota Uhura just admitted she's not perfect. I can die a happy man -"

The boot she threw at him nailed him squarely in his shirtless chest, cutting skin and bleeding profusely.

Back in Sickbay without Grayson, McCoy lectured Uhura and Kirk on acting like children.


	17. Yellow Tea 8

Kirk's first shift with the constriction bandage around his chest didn't go well. Being a stubborn southern bastard, McCoy wouldn't clear him for the away team to an unusual planetoid. That meant Sulu had to babysit Pavel's very smart but very young Science team on the planetoid.

One of the 12-year-old-looking science geniuses tripped over her own feet and set off some ancient early warning system.

The Enterprise found itself hurtling towards the floating rock and taking damage the entire way down. Kirk had to throw himself at the helm, taking more than a few tumbles and impacts, to get some semblance of control before Sulu and Pavel convinced the holographic interface that they'd seen enough of the demonstration and would buy anything it was selling if it would just stop targeting their transportation.

Kirk trudged slowly towards the Transporter Room to appease the tissue swelling under the bandage. After checking on the away team he turned the con over to Uhura and dragged himself to his quarters.

The sound of a door closing woke him instantly. The pain from rising reminded him to slow his roll out of the bed. His neck itched which meant McCoy had been there and hypo'd him while he slept, damn the man. Hopefully McCoy had administered the same stuff as always, the stuff that wouldn't cause an allergic reaction when mixed with alcohol. Jim intended to drown some of this discomfort in bourbon and, daredevil though he might be, he preferred to not die alone in his quarters from anaphylactic shock.

The flower blocked access to the bourbon. Inserted into the liquor cabinet handles, it held a small note on pale green stationary, a pin holding it to the stem. The source was obvious but not the purpose.

Kirk considered that he might have been more appreciative if the thorn-covered menace wasn't impeding access to his preferred anesthetic. She understood his habits - the liquor cabinet was a good place to get his attention quickly.

Uninstalling the prickly blockade only required four plasbands to repair bleeding fingers. The dropped pin was retrieved easily from the bottom of his foot when he stepped on it while determining its whereabouts. Unwrapping the note he'd now rather burn than read, his smile at the delicate handwriting came without intent.

"_Jim - _

_I know you care about us both. I can see it in everything you do for us - even when I'm fighting you about it. _

_I owe your mother an apology. I didn't appreciate how hard it all would be. _

_Grayson's all I have left. It's hard for me to let him be a little boy when I want to protect him and keep him near me forever. But little boys have to grow up - except you, Peter Pan. And you really are Peter Pan because you show Grayson how to have fun living his life everyday. I'm glad he has you._

_Thank you. I know it's more than your pleasure._

_With Much Gratitude,_

_Nyota Uhura_"

The doors on the cabinet never opened that evening. Instead, Kirk refolded the anesthetic of her words and took it and the yellow tea rose with him to his bed, placing the rose and the restorative pale green paper on the pillow next to his own to keep him company while he slept.


	18. Blue 1

It's not as if he intended to interfere with her duties or her career. Kirk understood that a busy, productive Uhura was a happy, relaxed and non-combative Uhura - the Uhura he preferred.

It's just that Kirk could not dissuade himself from reliving the U.S.S. Kelvin disaster as viewed on the recovered image logs and audio files from the ship. Not when he owned a house north of Santa Rosa, California back on Earth thanks to a generous trust fund for the Kelvin survivors. His original plan would eventually bring the love of his life back to the house to make it a home by starting a family.

That intent proved difficult: his family now numbered over 400 and the love of his life kept them all safe and sound - for the most part - as she cradled them inside her hull while they traveled through the vacuum of space. His first wife - the Enterprise - wouldn't fit on his planet anymore much less in his house.

Which would have been enough if Nyota Uhura hadn't chosen to return to the Enterprise after Spock's untimely death.

At first, Kirk hesitated to assign Uhura to away missions because he had no barometer for the depth and impact of her grief. Kirk understood as much about the Vulcan bond as any non-Vulcan who'd never been bonded. But the reality of the metamorphosis caused by a bond overwhelmed him as the emergency medical transport whisked him to New Vulcan - the inevitability of Nyota's death from p'pil'la'ai lay before them if M'Benga could not use her bond to Kirk to arrest her pursuit of oblivion.

Kirk had yet to process all that he'd seen and heard while melded to her mind through a Vulcan healer. M'Benga expressed astonishment that two humans, one a psi-mute, could sustain a bond strong enough to heal.

Perplexed but extremely relieved at the success of the therapeutic melds, M'Benga revealed a single unguarded thought after a particularly exhausting session - the bond Uhura maintained to Kirk had all the strength and complexity as that which had been severed at Spock's death. Kirk's love had saved her, provided her the added "push" to face the part of her mind that would forever be silent but always be present.

When Uhura left the hospital to recover at Sarek's home, M'Benga passed on one piece of advice to Kirk: don't be afraid to love her.

Kirk stood on a precipice where he second-guessed his own choices for Uhura as her captain and as her friend.

The deaths of George Kirk, Christopher Pike and S'chn T'gai Spock in the line of duty to the Federation left him without experienced counselors.


	19. Blue 2

Reviewing his log file after the mission reminded Kirk that he should have recognized the planet's language. The colony's citizens - lost to Federation access and communications more than a hundred years ago - spoke Fed Standard when they left Earth. Uhura eventually explained the differences to Kirk as language drift.

Had Kirk not grown reliant on having his Comm Chief with him whenever he collided with a language issue, he would have spared her another near-death experience. He should have just comm'd Miri through to Uhura on the Enterprise.

Instead, Kirk commanded Uhura to join him on this eerie, decrepit duplicate of Earth.

In real time, Kirk justified this command because of the language shift that rendered the inhabitants speech virtually - but not completely - incomprehensible. Kirk later rationalized his justification when the landing party deduced that the planet's only inhabitants were pre-pubescent children; Uhura, presently the only parent on the Enterprise, would be best suited to assist Kirk in making informed choices that Kirk suspected were clearly beyond his experiences.

Post-mission, Kirk admitted shamefully to himself that he relied more and more on having Uhura near him during away missions; her voice in his ear no longer sufficed.

That final selfishness exposed her to a contagion unidentifiable by any medical scans known to the Enterprise in this timeline.

Smaller than her away team colleagues and having spent more time with the children - the "Onlies" - to discern their version of the Fed. Standard language, Uhura succumbed first to the retrovirus that lay dormant in every living organism on the planet.

Barring McCoy from beaming to the planet impeded progress as samples had to be transported in stasis using quarantine protocols. Some were destroyed in transit by the transporters' biohazard filters, necessitating alternate means of transfer.

Chekov and Sulu programmed a remote piloting system for the Enterprise shuttles that allowed suited crewmen to retrieve the samples and transfer them through the vacuum of space as the shuttles remained undocked outside the Enterprises air locks.

With each failed trial the away team became less and less capable of assisting in their own medical rescue. With each minute, Captain Kirk watched Lieutenant Uhura dying.

Khan's antibodies circulating in Kirk's bloodstream delayed the effects of the mutagenic virus. Uhura's psionic capabilities intensified her descent into psychosis. Kirk witnessed her desperate struggle to retain her control in the Onlies' presence. Gran mal seizures turned her into a pathetic marionette. She pleaded with Kirk more than once to let McCoy send a hypo to knock her out, expressing her terror that Grayson would experience the crazed rantings of parental death in his mind.

Finally, when she believed her death to be imminent, she asked a favor:

"Jim, take Grayson home. To Africa. Take him to my parents."

"Uhura - don't give up on me. You've got months of paperwork to fill out if you die on me."

"Like you can enforce that..." she laughed weakly.

"Please Uhura, hang on." Kirk begged through tear-filled eyes.

Kirk, no stranger to a broken heart himself, missed Miri's heart break.

Miri's 300-year-old adolescent heart could not mistake what passed between Uhura and Miri's crush - James T. Kirk - as Uhura lay dying. Her jealousy-driven theft of the communicators delayed their rescue even longer.

McCoy's stubborn tenacity eventually saved them all - transporting down himself in a bio-suit to give Uhura the untested curative and to wait out the stressful hours until her viral load dropped and the rashes began to clear. McCoy refused to leave the planet in anything but a shuttle with the windows blacked out.

Before leaving the planet, Uhura insisted on speaking privately with Jahn and Miri, to explain to them what they were feeling for each other and that it might not end with their new life on a new planet. She encouraged them to speak of it and to consider joining; she told them the other "Onlies" would need parents who understood them.

Miri asked Uhura if their relationship mirrored Uhura's with Kirk; Uhura admitted she wasn't sure.

Back on the Enterprise, Kirk closed his log, uncomfortable with his choices regarding Uhura but unable to reason any other course of action as her captain.

To assuage his guilt he knocked on the door to her quarters next to his and asked if Grayson could join him in the Mess Hall for dinner.

Uhura asked if she could join them.


	20. Blue 3

"McCoy to Uhura!"

"Uhura here, Doctor."

McCoy heard the controlled panic in her voice and responded immediately.

"Grayson's fine and he's not here. Please come to Sickbay at the end of your shift."

McCoy listened for her normal athletic breathing rate of 13 breaths per minute before ending the communications.

"McCoy out."

* * *

Two Earth hours later, Uhura entered Sickbay and found McCoy at his desk sipping from a flask. Entering, she noted the lack of a friendly greeting; whatever he had to discuss must be serious.

"Hello, Leonard."

"Uhura. I need your help and I need it fast."

"What's going on?" she queried in alarm.

"Since we came back from the last away mission on Sahndara, Jim's blood pressure hasn't come down from 180/120. I thought it might be the kironide I synthesized from the plants but there's no trace of it in his blood work. Something's wrong and Jim's not helpin' me fix it."

Uhura's silence gave McCoy a window to present his hypothesis.

"Parmen blocked me from followin' you folks to the peristylum. I don't know what he made you do, but whatever it was has Jim twisted in knots. He encrypted all of your log files from the mission - did you know that?"

"No... but it will be some time before I reread them." Uhura confessed, still seething at the loss of control and the behaviors she was coerced into.

McCoy's sigh broke her resentful reverie.

"Can you help me out, hon? If I don't figure this out, he's gonna bust a blood vessel - probably in his brain - and I'm gonna have to live with a death I shoulda been able to prevent. Nothin' I'm treatin' him with is workin'."

Soft, even breathing gave away her presence; her stillness rivaled that of the furniture in his office. Then she explained.

"Kironide also gives the Platonians very rudimentary telepathy. Parmen 'discovered' the special relationship between Sulu and Chapel, Jim and me; he used it against Jim.

"He forced us to entertain them... in very embarrassing ways"

"Uhura, I'm sorry. I wouldn't have asked -"

"It' fine, Len. Fortunately," she continued with an ironic smile, "Alexander tried to assassinate Parmen. That distraction gave Jim's anger the boost it needed and the kironide kicked in. Jim stopped the 'entertainment'."

"Hon, I've tried talking to him but he breaks stuff and storms out of the room.

"Talk to him for me?"

"Len, I'm not... ready to relive that."

"You'd see a counselor if I ordered it medically, but Jim won't - he'd just get angrier. He's gonna screw up on the bridge or cause an incident if he doesn't work through this.

"You can help each other... If you're willing."

Uhura slapped her comm. Jim Kirk had saved her more than once; she owed him.

"Uhura to Kirk"

"KIRK!"

His irate greeting provoked a startled response from Uhura.

"Captain, is Grayson with you?"

"YES and you're interRUPTing!"

Uhura sent a telepathic message to Grayson - _Sweetheart, you're going to Pavel's tonight._

"Pavel's coming to get him."

"He's supposed to be having dinner with me!" Kirk barked at her.

Carefully modulating her tone, Uhura updated him on the change in plan.

"I'm having dinner with you tonight. We have a lot to discuss. Uhura out."

Facing McCoy again she opened her mouth to follow up but McCoy cut her off.

"Go! I'll call Pavel and Sulu and square this. How long do you need?"

"Have Pavel there in 15 minutes; I should be changed and get there in 20."

"I'm on it!" McCoy called out to her disappearing form.

* * *

A furious Kirk met her at his door.

"Dammit, Uhura! I had plans to spend time with Grayson tonight! What is your major malfunction!?"

"Is dinner ready or do you need help?"

The coolness in her response temporarily stymied him. Grunting a greeting as she entered, he regained his irritation when he saw the serving trays in her hands.

"I'm not eating any vegetarian crap!"

"It's real hot dogs and baked beans on top and strawberry shortcake on the bottom.

"What're you eating?"

"The same thing you are with a salad and a shot of Jack."

Only then did Kirk note the flask in the rear pocket of her jeans.

Leaving him to his vexation Uhura set the table, poured alcohol for both and coaxed him into eating. The hot dogs, made from turkey and pork, delivered milligram after milligram of tryptophan into his system. The combination of tryptophan and bourbon blunted his anger sufficiently for them to make it through dinner and over to his couch without an explosion.

* * *

Thoughtfully, she began the cathartic process.

"I'm angry, Jim. Not at you but at what Parmen made us do. I'm an empathic telepath and I couldn't stop him."

Silence came back from him; flames licked and danced behind those Dodger blue eyes.

"I wanted to kill Parmen, not stop him. The angrier I got the less control I had and I couldn't defend myself. All my 'vaunted' psionic power and I failed to defend myself or my crew mates. That's the second time someone's tried to rape me."

"I didn't want to rape you!"

"I wasn't talking about you." she answered, whispering her epiphany.

"Is that what you think, Jim? That you violated me?"

His answer saw his Starfleet award from the Khan mission shattered when it came to an abrupt stop against the wall across the room.

"Jim, thanks to you, it didn't happen."

Blood-red color suffused his face and neck. Fists held tightly again his sides, he shook with rage. But the voice that escaped came through whisper soft.

"Parmen _made_ me kiss you; forced my lips onto yours, forced my tongue into your mouth. I ripped your clothing - the bodice _and_ skirt - while his men _**raped**_ you with their eyes. You're a beautiful woman, Uhura, but I couldn't bring myself to look at you - not like that.

"I got aroused. You saw me through that 'kilt'. I **_hated_** myself; nothing I did stopped my response to you.

"I was going to **_sexually_** **_assault_** you - maybe **_kill_ **you - and I had no control to stop it!

"I've made no secret of my feelings for you, Uhura. I never wanted us to come together like that.

"I wanted the first time to be special and Parmen **TOOK** that from me!"

Walking hesitantly to him, Uhura wrapped him in her arms, shedding tears for both of them.

"How can you **touch** me after what I've done!?" he choked out.

"Because that wasn't you; that was Parmen. You would never take advantage like that - you've had many chances and never taken one.

"My anger at Parmen kept me from responding like a Starfleet officer. I still have a lot to learn. I promise you, Captain, I will learn to use this so-called 'gift'. I'll never be that helpless again.

"And I promise you, Jim: when we move past this, if there **_is_** a first time it will be special. It will be our choice, not someone else's"


	21. Blue 4

The call from the Argelian constabulary did not concern Kirk or Sulu. A planet known for its bars, its exotic dancers - of seven genders, its assortment of intoxicants and its safety _would_ motivate overworked Enterprise crew members to their best relaxation efforts, some of which could reasonably be expected to lead to benevolent incarceration. Argelian jails rivaled some of the best hostelries on other planets. Kirk had his most diplomatic and least intimidating security personnel standing by on the planet to assist with over-zealous revelers.

* * *

When the call came in reporting that Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott had been charged with the murder of a much beloved singer and dancer, Kirk bolted from the command chair to the transporter room to meet with the planetary authorities.

As Scotty told it, he and McCoy were enjoying a particularly seductive Argelian courting dance performed by Kara, a dancer famed on Argelius II despite her youth. After sitting through many performances and consuming many cocktails it became obvious that Kara preferred Mr. Scott's company to that of the Enterprise's surly doctor. Paying up on his bet, Bones grudgingly congratulated Scotty and left with Keenser to find greener pastures.

On their way to the transport point back to the Enterprise, Keenser and Bones heard the terrified scream from an unidentified woman - clearly in trouble - followed by the yell of a man shocked and dismayed at his situation. Running at top speed, Bones then Keenser arrived to find Kara, bleeding and dying with her eyes open, in the arms of a disoriented and shocked Montgomery Scott.

The Argelians produced a tiny number of Class 5 empaths in each generation. Key to the Argelian public safety and justice system, these empathic "Peace Keepers" sensed the truly dangerous and the truly dumb before any permanent harm befell the Argelian community. All legal proceedings experienced by Mr. Scott from here on would require the presence of a Peace Keeper.

Kirk listened as Prefect Jarvis described what was known and what was suspected. Kirk sequestered McCoy, badgering him about what he'd heard and seen. After a full med scan, Bones confirmed what Scotty pleaded to any who would listen: despite holding the victim and the murder weapon in his hands, he had no memory of Kara's murder.

Jarvis assigned his own wife - Sybo - as the Argelian Peace Keeper. Fairness drove Kirk to insist on two concessions from the Argelians: first, Kirk asked that the depositions and any subsequent investigation be held on the Enterprise and last, Kirk asked that Uhura - an empathic telepath - participate as a Peace Keeper for the Federation. Jarvis agreed over the objections of his chief prosecutor, Hengist - a rather odious and officious leprechaun of a man. As Chief of Protocol, Uhura had diplomatic immunity on Argelius II - a quiet fact Kirk could use if trouble arose.

* * *

Sybo and Uhura were on the bridge when the Enterprise suffered a complete power blackout and McCoy's med tech, Lieutenant Kareen Tra-cii was found dead and bleeding in Mr. Scott's arms, the knife alleged to have killed Kara plunged to its hilt in the young Lieutenant's back.

Mindful of the outcomes on Miri's World and Sahndara, Kirk ordered Uhura to stand down and return to her Comm Chief duties. A terse, heated discussion followed but Uhura acknowledged Kirk's order and took over for Hannity. The depositions and investigation moved to the captain's ready room.

After depositions from Kara's father, Tark, and her ersatz fiancé, Morla, Kirk ordered the room sealed and Sybo began her empathic "truth finding" activities. In moments her words confused and alarmed everyone in the room plus one bridge offer whose psionic capabilities sensed a lurking danger trapped on the Enterprise and desperate to escape.

"Beratis"

Sybo chanted.

"Kesla"

Sybo intoned.

"Redjac"

Some in the room recognized the "Redjac" nickname as Earth's most heinous - and most well-known - serial killer, Jack the Ripper.

Whatever Sybo sensed, it had lived for millenia, it fed on fear and it _despised_ women - preyed on them across the galaxy, moving further from Earth into space with man's outward expansion and exploration.

Streaking from her comm position on the bridge to the ready room door Uhura yelled every code she could think of to no avail. Uhura's telepathy read murder in the mind of someone or something in that room.

On entry, Uhura sadly knew that Sybo joined Kara and Kareen whose final repose was in Commander Scott's arms.

* * *

With Sybo's death, Uhura argued with Kirk that Scotty's only hope of escaping Argelius II's capital crime death penalty lay in her own ability to complete Sybo's identification of the perpetrator: Uhura emphatically confirmed to Kirk that whatever Sybo identified remained onboard, that it didn't want to be discovered and that only she would recognize the entity's mental signature.

With Scotty's life in the balance, Kirk relented.

Stretching herself along the route her empathic radar felt from Sybo, Uhura identified the entity just before it attacked her and made its escape into the Enterprise computers. It's most recent identity - "Beratis" - exposed it; Hengist the Prosecutor hailed from the serial killer Beratis' planet, as did the murder weapon.

The creature took mere moments to enact its misogynist hatred towards Uhura, knifing her in the chaos of subduing Hengist.

This time Kirk, not Scotty, held the victim as McCoy worked feverishly to remove the knife that nearly impaled Uhura's heart. but for her Dim Mak-trained reflexes.

* * *

Kirk did not visit her in Sickbay; her comatose body on the med-bed transformed in his mind into her bleeding body, pale and deathlike in his arms. Visiting Uhura brought the nightmares. The nightmares impacted his ability to captain the ship.


	22. Blue 5

Kirk recognized during her recovery that something had to change before he would willingly endanger her again.

He steeled himself to accept her transfer request or her resignation but he could not, in good conscience, assign her to any further missions without a safety net.


	23. Blue 6

"Permission to speak with you, Captain. Privately."

Her voice came through low and cutting, bordering dangerously close to insubordination. As much as he wanted to avoid tarnishing her professional record, if she stepped one foot over that line she would force him to address it. The favoritism moniker would not undermine his crew's efficiency and success even if it damaged his personal relationship with Uhura.

"My ready room in five minutes."

"Yes _sir._"

She heard his quiet warning as she pivoted to return to her station:

"If a man gave me that attitude the fight would be epic, Lieutenant."


	24. Blue 7

Kirk kept her waiting on purpose, arriving 30 minutes late.

"Captain, I need to speak with you but I also need to pick Grayson up from -"

"Done, Lieutenant. That's why I'm late. He's safe and he'll have had dinner."

"Thank you but you didn't need to do that."

"Yes I did, Lieutenant. Coming to a consensus on this topic might take time."

"So you're aware that your order effectively sabotages my career onboard this - or any other - ship!?"

"No, Lieutenant. My order ensures that your son doesn't become an orphan because of me."

"This is discriminatory! The only way for me to fight this is to file a complaint against you!"

"Do that if you truly believe that's my intent, to harm you in any way."

His quiet control infuriated her. Captain James Tiberius Kirk's decision led her off into the oblivion of career mediocrity. If he got his way, she'd have to resign and start her career over.

"You're effectively restricting me to comm console duty only - no away missions, no diplomatic negotiations, no first contact even if it's on the Enterprise!"

"Yes."

"Have I performed in such an unsatisfactory manner that you feel this is warranted?"

"On the contrary, Lieutenant, your performance has - to quote Mr. Spock - been exemplary. You're the best comm chief, and probably the best protocol chief, in the fleet. That's why I can't risk you; you're irreplaceable."

Ramped up to full Uhura fury, her sensitive ears overlooked the inflection in his last sentence or the throbbing irritation of the buzz coming off his body. Her skin tingled like thousands of electrical shocks skittered across it.

"But I'm a communications specialist! I can't learn about communicating from listening through an ear bud. Communications is more than language - it's culture, it's aesthetics, it's body language. I can't do my job under this order!"

"Think of this as an opportunity to cross certify. There's a fair amount of engineering technology in communications, spend some time with Mr. Scott getting some engineering experience with the technology you didn't cover in your master's program."

"CROSS CERTIFY!? I barely have time for the workload you inflict on me now!"

"We'll both have to adjust, Lieutenant."

Kirk couldn't hide it, not from someone like Uhura who knew him so well. Releasing her anger gave him nothing to fight against. Buzz radiated off of him like ball lightening - wild and unpredictable against her skin.

"This is about what happened on Argelius II, isn't it, sir?"

"Not at all.

"That's not true, sir. You're getting harder and harder to read telepathically which means you're angry."

Riding the waves of anger in his head were images of Uhura dying in his arms on Miri's World or desperately trying to cover herself after he'd stripped her naked against his will on Sahndara.

But the worst image, the one that still drove the nightmares that continued unabated and in full color, was the knife the Beratis entity plunged into her chest mere inches from her heart.

The image from his mind alarmed Uhura in its vivid goriness even as his anger obfuscated its resolution and clarity. She saw herself covered in blood, lifeless and pale, with this invading object jutting up out of her chest - cleverly crafted and elegantly effective in its purpose. In the small crevices of his mind that were still accessible she saw his terror and his grief for himself and for Grayson.

She finally reasoned it out: Captain James Kirk feared losing her; worse, he feaed losing his "son" if he lost her.

The emergency hail from Sickbay cut into her response to him.

"Sickbay to Uhura! Emergency!"

The psionic shock hit her so hard her knees buckled; Kirk caught her before she hit the floor.

"It's Grayson!"

Assisting her with his arm both bolted for the 'lift.


	25. Blue 8

Hitting the doors to Sickbay at full speed, Kirk just missed being rendered unconscious by a flying surgical device. Everywhere in the room any small items not strapped, nailed or glued down hurtled wildly around, cold-cocking med staff and patients too slow to take cover.

Dropping to the floor and rolling into the room Kirk came up with his phaser drawn, looking for the boy. Behind him, Uhura had taken cover and crawled by inches towards the main bank of med beds, desperate to locate her son.

Silently signaling each other, they leap-frogged from protective cover to protective cover until the source of the chaos became apparent. Kirk finally understood the terrified cry and sprinted to the med bed with Uhura on his heels.

McCoy struggled to hold Grayson in his arms as the boy convulsed, screaming for Kirk by his personal name for him - "Daddy". McCoy leaned against the med bed, the boy's back to his chest and McCoy's arms wrapped like a straightjacket around Grayson to contain the seizures. Dropped hypos littered the floor around McCoy's feet.

"Gray! Buddy, what's wrong!?" Kirk shouted, running to take the boy in his arms.

McCoy, exhausted with the effort of keeping the boy safe and ducking the flying objects, released the child to Kirk and sagged on the med bed from fatigue.

In Kirk's arms the boy settled, sobbing but not hurling valuable medical gear around the room.

"Mama's gone! Daddy, mama's gone like Baba! I can't hear Mama!"

"No... no, buddy. Your mother's right here."

Uhura embraced them both, tears running freely.

"I left him for TEN MINUTES, Bones! What the HELL happened in here!?" Kirk demanded, terror darkening his irises.

"He was playin' in my office when he started shriekin' like someone was trying to kill'im. Kept sayin' Uhura was bleeding. I brought him over to the med-bed and he started having seizures.

"All hell broke loose when I tried to restrain him on the med bed. He knocked every tranquilizing hypo I had outta my hands. Finally had to just grab him and hold on. Damn strong four year old, I'm here to tell ya.

"That's when my medical equipment started twirlin' and dancin' all over Sickbay. I'd say we've empirically confirmed he's telekinetic."

No one answered right away. Kirk leaned against the med-bed, one arm around Uhura and the other holding Grayson close.

"We did this, Jim. We terrified him." Uhura admitted in hitched breaths.

"I think he scared us too!"

Jim's retort got a hint of a grin from Grayson.

"As the doctor - and one of the victims - in this medical emergency, you mind explainin' what the HELL just happened here and why it's your fault?" McCoy asked in his most politely irritated southern drawl.

"The Captain and I were having a heated discussion -" Uhura started.

"You two don't have any other kind!" McCoy interjected

"- about my role on future away missions. Apparently the captain's been preoccupied with some of the recent... mishaps I've experienced."

"_You mean Grayson read those thoughts _**_from _****_Jim_**?" McCoy asked incredulously?

"I think so."

Mrs. McCoy didn't birth any dumb children. Her favorite baby boy, Leonard Horatio, made the next leap of logic in record time.

"Jim's a visual thinker - that means those thoughts were mostly images. Images of you, Uhura, during these... mishaps?"

"Yes. As the discussion heated up, I shielded so Grayson wouldn't experience my emotional state and mistake it for anything more than an argument with the captain. Grayson gets very uncomfortable when we argue."

"So you shielded and his head went silent." McCoy concluded.

Folding his arms across his chest, the country doctor collected his thoughts before delivering his considered medical opinion.


	26. Blue 9

"Both of you are **idiots**!

"**_You_** -" McCoy pointed at Kirk, "wouldn't let me treat you for those nightmares and now they're all-day **terrors** projected on a mental screen so big even poor Grayson can see'um.

"And **_you_** -" he pointed, rounding on Uhura, "shut down the one link that let's this boy know you're alive - **_KNOWIN'_** he's already been through one broken parental bond!

"I should have the authorities take this kid from **_both_** of you at the next star base!"

Taking a deep breath, McCoy rewound his temper and unleashed it again.

"Jim - you **WILL** report here every day for medication and counseling or I will have you forcibly removed as captain and barred from contact with this boy.

"And you, Uhura, are going to help me find a protocol for handlin' this kid in an emergency. I can't have him tearin' up Sickbay because his parents are **idiots**!

"Now take him outta here and FIX THIS!

"You're **BOTH** on medical leave until I stop bein' **pissed off** at the two of you - and that could be Grayson's graduation from Starfleet! Stay with him and work this out! **_Or so help me_** -"

McCoy spluttered, at a loss for words.

In the end he settled for a ruffle of Grayson's hair, a "You-Should-Be-Ashamed" look at a contrite Uhura and an exasperated glare at Kirk. Storming into his office, McCoy retrieved a flask in full view of all and began "Happy Hour" hours early.

"Let's go before he comes back." Kirk suggested in a low voice.


	27. Blue 10

Following her to her quarters, Kirk entered when she keyed in the code but did not transition the child to her arms nor did he place him in his bed.

"Pack something comfortable. You two are staying with me tonight."

Uhura's expression, eyebrows arched, told him some explanation would be necessary to get her agreement and cooperation.

"Grayson needs both of us and we need to finish our discussion without scaring him - and McCoy's entire Sickbay staff - to death. I'm not going to try anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"I never worry about that. I'm worried you're not ready to be honest with me about why you effectively remanded me to the Enterprise. Grayson and I might as well stay in our own quarters - you're still not telling me the whole truth.

"Those images - that terrified Grayson - came from your memory, Jim."

Grayson, who'd fallen into a fitful sleep on Jim's shoulder, began to weep silently - once again witnessing the waking nightmare roiling through Kirk's mind 24/7.

Fear ruled Kirk since his med-evac trip to New Vulcan, terror suffered alone but not silently. To survive - to thrive - they had to work through this together. No more hiding the fear; no more secret terror.

Jim calmed himself and the boy before speaking again.

"Grab your bag. We've got work to do."


	28. Blue 11

Days later Uhura awoke in a chair in the living area to the rhythm of Grayson's gentle snoring on the floor. Almost normal meant letting Grayson camp out on the floor instead of chasing him into his own bed. Stretching as she rose, she entered the bedroom to find a blue rose on her bed accompanied by two envelopes labeled "1" and "2". No one but Jim left her roses.

Uhura picked up the rose curiously; she'd never seen a blue rose before. Plopping down in a chair, she hunted on her PADD for a while before finding the explanation of the genetic manipulation required to produce this color and the meaning of the color. Blue roses communicated the mystery and wonder of love. She wondered, with a lazy smile, if Jim recognized how much the flower's color resembled his eyes.

Picking up the envelopes, she settled herself on the bed unconcerned about their contents. There'd been no life-threatening, planet-killing, diplomacy-damaging snafus since their return to duty - hers before his. Sliding a finger under the flap she removed the content and read the title of the document; the envelope fell from her hands.

Tears forming immediately she held her breath as she read Jim's Last Will and Testament.

Fighting her instinct to shield, Uhura slowly made her way through the paper.

Sleep would not come tonight, she knew. Her flask - won off Leonard McCoy during a marathon poker game - hadn't been touched in weeks. Back in the living area, she curled her legs under her with the liquid relaxant. Tonight the flask would deliver the calm necessary to think through what Jim was up to.

He'd left almost everything to Grayson.

A few more small swigs of Jack calmed her sufficiently to return to the bedroom and open envelope "2".

The second envelope contained a packet of folded papers similar to the will and a smaller, note-sized envelope labeled "Read This First". Uhura always considered Kirk's obsession with puzzles a mark of his genius - but right now he'd begun to irritate her despite the rose.

With an impatient sigh she read the note:

-o-

_Uhura,_

_The papers in this envelope are the price for rescinding my orders that keep you ship-bound._

_Before you argue about my bequests you need to know I'm not short-changing my family. My mother and I worked on it together. Sam's kids will be taken care of in her will. She understands how I feel about Grayson._

_I will not leave Grayson without a Plan B. He'll need a special place if you're gone._

_So I had my attourney in San Francisco draw up guardianship papers for your signature. As written - if you agree and sign them - if anything happens to you Grayson becomes my ward. I promise you if that ever happens I'll adopt him as fast as I can sign the papers I've had drawn up._

_You know how I feel about you and Grayson. The only thing worse than losing you would be losing Grayson too. Love's not easy for me._

_Grayson will need to be with someone who understands what it is to lose your parents; I know what that's like. I'm not above begging to get you to let me keep him - he's my son, has been since he first kicked me from inside your belly._

_I know your clan will want him to come to Africa to live. I can't stop you from sending him there, they're his family too; but I won't pretend that it won't hurt as much as losing you._

_Here's the deal: Figure out who you want to be his guardian, contact the attourney on the papers and sign the agreement. As soon as it's filed, I'll rescind my order._

_Jim Kirk_

-o-

* * *

Time passed as she sat sipping from the flask. In a sudden rush of motion Uhura rousted Grayson and steered the drowsy boy out of their quarters.


	29. Blue 12

"C'm'in!" unlocked the door and disrupted his peaceful sleep - sleep he no longer took for granted.

"Uhura? What time is it?"

"Around 3:15 in the morning" she answered, handing the sleeping boy over to him. The transfer was as natural as breathing - well-practiced and comfortable.

"And you're here at this hour because?..." he yawned at her as he took a seat on his couch with Grayson in his lap.

"Bedroom. I want to be comfortable for this."

She caught his expression change.

"Don't try that with me Jim Kirk. Grayson will be sleeping between us."

"Your loss, Uhura"

"It's Nyota."

That reveal wasn't lost on him. The teasing, lustful expression on his face transformed into wonder.

Not giving her time to change her mind, he nearly jogged into his bedroom. Placing Grayson in the bed under the covers, Jim tapped the room controls to raise the temperature and to ensure they experienced endless night regardless of the time.

He missed her disappearance into the bathroom until she reentered the bedroom wearing what looked like a flannel camping tent - he couldn't find her shapely form anywhere in the fabric. Disappointed at her attire, and hiding his disappointment badly, he climbed in on one side of Grayson with Uhura on the other.

"This couldn't wait unit morning, Uhu- Nyota?"

"I don't think so. First - thank you."

"It's my pleasure. You know how I feel about you both. Not up to me what happens next - if anything."

"Why would you think... That's not tonight's -"

"This morning, don't you mean?"

In the pitch blackness of the room she swore she could see him grinning wickedly.

"Jim, focus! My point is... raising Grayson will -"

"Be tough? That what you were about to say?" he finished for her.

"Nyo, who took him to his last med checkup?"

Jim did when she had a critical treaty to read and sign to avert a civil war. And she didn't miss his new nickname for her, either.

"Who taught him how to ride a bike?"

"That's not the best example to use, Jim"

"He learned, didn't he?

"Who takes care of him most of the time when you're on duty?"

"Pavel."

"That's bullshit, Uhura!

"I'm trying to prove I can take care of him. I'll make mistakes but not the big ones: I'll never abuse him, I'll never leave him and I'll always love him.

"I know what this is really about - you want to know how I'm gonna be captain and daddy at the same time. Here's your answer: I won't.

"If you'd actually READ the entire packet, you'd've found my signed Starfleet resignation papers tied to the date the guardianship goes into effect.

"Grayson is my _son_, Nyo; I want him with me.

"It's up to you now; you have a decision to make. Whatever you do, I'll back off that order once you sign and file those papers - even if you don't pick me."

The timbre of his voice, sleep invading his control, told her he meant it.

"But I don't know if I'll forgive you if you separate us."

And she knew he meant that as well.


	30. Blue 13

By executing the joint custody agreement, Uhura made it possible to avoid unnecessary delays and trauma for Grayson in the event of her death. The agreement could be revoked without prejudice by either party; Uhura insisted on including an out clause in case any future Mrs. Kirk didn't like the idea of a Vulcan child living with their new family.

"Why wouldn't you want to live with your own son?" Kirk quipped.

She hit him hard enough to bruise.

* * *

In her spare time she took up a new hobby - the study of roses and their meanings. And she placed a number of personal calls to her mentor, Admiral Nik Matoskah, to get some advice of a personal nature.


End file.
